Music and Tears

I am a bad mix of emotions right now, and really need a word-vomit. Last night was my final Orchestra concert of the year, and it went really well, until the end.

The middle school orchestra played two songs that I was quite impressed with, before our ensemble took the stage. They played a John Willems melody, and a student composed “Undertale Melody” which was very well done. My sister played the cello for both of these songs and did a wonderful job, she had a solo in the Undertale melody that she didn’t tell me about that sounded very good!


As a combined orchestra, the middle school joined us to play Orion and the Scorpion, which sounded so good. I love this kind of music and having the numbers of the middle school made this piece very powerful.

Our ensemble of players is quite small. We have 4 first violins, 4 second violins (but only 3 were able to attend), 1 viola, 4 cellos, and no bases 😦 . Despite our small numbers, we were able to create some beautiful pieces. v2

Our first song was really insanely hard, and I messed up so much. Our orchestra teacher didn’t look to impressed with us when we finished it, but the audience seemed to really enjoy it, so I call Fury Dance mostly successful. The fact that we played it is success enough for me since we almost cut it out of the program.

Our second song was a suite called “The Married Beau“, we only played movements 1, 3, 5, 6, and 7. I think it went well. It was not my favorite piece we’ve done, but I did love the Hornpipes, just because I am already biased to love hornpipes because of the Hornpipe in the play, Ruddigore, I was in.


Our final piece was the first movement in Bach’s Double Concerto. Our soloists were fantastic and the orchestra did wonderful. I was thoroughly impressed with how this piece went. I like Bach’s music a lot, and our soloists did a wonderful job bringing it to life and I loved accompanying them.

Now for the tears. Our concert was over, we had finished our last piece, and I saw tears going down my conductors face. I thought to myself, “either we did better than expected, or really horrible.” Then to the shock of the orchestra, she turns around and announces how well we did, and how much she is going to miss this orchestra, because she is retiring.

I had no idea she was planning on retiring, she had told us at the beginning of the year she was planning on three more years. I absolutely love this teacher. She has taught me more then just how to play the violin, but how to be a musician, and how to love music. She has been my teacher for three years and I have really come to love her. She has always reminded me of the fairy godmother from the original Cinderella.

So yeah. I wasn’t expecting this. I have been having a hard time this year and this was just the cherry on top. Between struggling with depression, having the community theatre close, my cousin “twin” move across the country, and this, it’s been a ton. I struggle with change, and now the one constant that I have had in my life these past three years is gone. I am going to miss her so much, but I hope her retirement is calm and peaceful, I love you Mrs. B, and I am going to miss you. Thank you for everything you have taught me and for helping me grow as a musician and a person. ❤ ❤


4 thoughts on “Music and Tears

  1. That’s one of the best things about music though: it makes people close. I’m glad you had the opportunity to work with this director who means so much to you, and I hope that you keep creating music and writing. It’s not always easy, but somehow it’s worth it and some.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! Music really is amazing.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Sounds like a very moving experience. Music especially has a way of bringing out emotions and bringing us together! Sorry to hear about your losses, but so glad you’ve experienced your teacher’s support and love.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. That was a beautiful and heartfelt post that made my heart smile. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, and I am so sorry that you have been struggling with so much in your life at this current moment. I sincerely hope things get better and that you continue writing.

    Liked by 1 person

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